I belong here.

Heart-crushing beauty, overwhelming generosity, unbelievable food and wine, cheap smokes, humidity, stone pine trees, ancient marble, grandiose visions of God, hilarious eavesdropping, each day bringing a simple, soaring joy that nothing can touch because the joy is kept in a secret place in my heart safe from all bad news, shit storms and strife.

I deserve this life.  Cal deserves this version of me.  Nothing ever, ever goes wrong here, and when it does go wrong, by dinner it is an anecdote, a footnote to the smells and the laughter and the love.

I'm going to go sit in L & V's garden now, and write for a client.  Vincenzo is replacing the stones on the walkway, slowly and methodically as he chats with the dog and the cats and me absent-mindedly.  I sleep on a comfy mattress in their back room, and wake in the morning to the glass brick roof shining sun down on me and the managerie sitting patiently, waiting for me to say hi.

Marco is staying at L & A's, who tonight are throwing a dinner in honor of me and my American friends who are here visiting.  It will be boozy and smoky and most likely when we walk into their loft, the entire kitchen island will be covered in cooked polenta, ready to be cut into enormous slabs and drizzled with tomoato sauce.

Next week I will post pictures!!!!!!!!  But am here for another week or two.  Just wanted to check in and let you all know that my time here is EXACTLY  as winsomely wonderful and achingly beautiful as you're imagining.